Dear readers, it’s been a while since I last wrote a blog post and my life hasn’t gotten much easier since then. As I cope with my new diagnoses, I am faced with difficult real life decisions. All these choices also kick up a lot of emotional trauma and I’m having a really difficult time swimming these shark infested waters. Let’s recap, shall we? In July 2022, I caught Covid-19 and was ill for a full three months. Not only that, but it also caused long Covid and those symptoms did not dissipate until the following spring/early summer 2023. What does that look like you ask? I went from being able to walk 15 km + a day to not being able to get out of bed for days at a time, severe joint and muscle pain, the inability to walk more than 1 km, I can no longer stand for more than 30 minutes at a time. My feet hurt, my ankles hurt, my knees hurt, my back hurts, my shoulders hurt, my elbows hurt, my wrists hurt, and each and every single joint in my hands hurt. Eventually, I couldn’t take

  In April 2001, I was laid off from my first job as an Executive Assistant to the CFO. All was not lost, the former CEO and current Chairman of the Board for the telecom company I would be leaving hired me to be his Assistant and Office Manager at his new venture. Before starting that role, I booked a vacation to the Dominican Republic with Mr. GQ, my BFF Natasha and her boyfriend who happened to be Mr. GQ’s best friend, Freddy. I was over the moon to be going away on a REAL vacation. This was my first real vacation ever. I remember spending 3 weeks researching resorts, towns, activities, cross-referenced reviews and costs to make sure it was affordable for everyone. Once I selected the resort, I went back to search for the absolute best price. I think I got our trip for less than $700 all inclusive, at a 5 star brand new resort. I had an amazing time and crossed off several bucket list items at the time. Upon returning to real life I worked my butt off setting up a new office and a

I loved living in the Big City! I loved clubbing, going to concerts, drinking and dancing all night. I loved treating men like crap only to find out they seemed to enjoy it… or maybe they thought I was funny. I was super sarcastic and I knew the world was my oyster. I spent as many hours as possible with my best friend Natasha. I had a ‘ditch-able’ boyfriend for every occasion. At one point I had 4 different men I dated for different reasons. Mark was a nice guy and he liked to introduce me to his favourite restaurants, we were never intimate but I saw the potential; I was content with him providing me with weed until I found a better dealer (my office caterer, but that’s a different tale).  I dated my boss for 18 months too, but clearly that was because I was stupid. He was married with children and at that time in my life I didn’t care. I wanted to experience all that life had to offer and I wanted to be ‘bad’. I felt that I’d always followed the rules my entire life. I knew it was a

Neall was not a bad person; he just wasn’t the guy for me. While we were married and our marriage was crumbling, I’m not proud of how I acted at times but in fairness, neither was he. Neall had a really good heart, he had empathy and compassion. Neall’s biggest problem was that he wasn’t motivated. Neall suffered a lot of trauma in his own childhood also. In my early 20’s, I didn’t even know I had suffered trauma so I was not able to recognize the signs in him, let alone myself. Neal grew up in Southern Ontario, he was adopted and had an older adopted sister. His parents provided a nice loving home. His mother was a TV personality in the 1970s with her own yoga TV show while his dad worked in HR at a manufacturing plant. Neall recalled feeling happy until one day his parents divorced. His father had an affair with his assistant and left his current bride, a successful and well-respected Jewish businesswoman for his Catholic assistant. Neall remembers feeling hated and like his new