Dear readers, recently I’ve been experiencing yet more medical issues. During my research on my potential new diagnoses, I made a rather startling connection. My mind has been blown with what I’ve discovered. Today, this post may be a bit of a rant as I connect all the dots. It took me five years to make all these realizations. My entire life I was ruled by responsibility, I even accepted responsibility for things that weren’t my fault – just to keep the peace between the man who donated his sperm for my mother’s eggs and his bed-warmer. I try not to hate him or blame him and accept responsibility for my own well-being but I’m in a place in my life where I can longer ignore his role and it makes me mad. Livid, really. From the beginning of my existence, SHE told me there was “nothing wrong” with me and to stop being a hypochondriac like my grandmother. I believe, truly that neither of them really wanted to raise children – they just seemed to want a maid (her) and to not die alone (

Dear readers, it’s been a while since I last wrote a blog post and my life hasn’t gotten much easier since then. As I cope with my new diagnoses, I am faced with difficult real life decisions. All these choices also kick up a lot of emotional trauma and I’m having a really difficult time swimming these shark infested waters. Let’s recap, shall we? In July 2022, I caught Covid-19 and was ill for a full three months. Not only that, but it also caused long Covid and those symptoms did not dissipate until the following spring/early summer 2023. What does that look like you ask? I went from being able to walk 15 km + a day to not being able to get out of bed for days at a time, severe joint and muscle pain, the inability to walk more than 1 km, I can no longer stand for more than 30 minutes at a time. My feet hurt, my ankles hurt, my knees hurt, my back hurts, my shoulders hurt, my elbows hurt, my wrists hurt, and each and every single joint in my hands hurt. Eventually, I couldn’t take

  I haven’t written a blog post in a very long time and here I am to catch you up!  I’ve been very busy with a strong focus on therapy and healing my inner children. Having a childhood filled with so much trauma, I have several inner children that need attention, love and understanding. I struggled with this idea and concept for at least 4 years thinking it was utter bullshit. I’m finally in a place where I understand that the parts of me that were sacrificed to please others, the parts of me that weren’t permitted to exist, the parts of me that were told she wasn’t important - they all need to understand that it really had nothing to do with her and everything to do with the adults in her life. Today’s post isn’t really about my childhood. Today’s post is all about grown-up me. It’s been a tough year. I celebrated one year of no contact with Jack and I honestly feel free. I feel happier and I feel like I’m true to myself. I don’t have to pretend to be someone he wants me to be whi

In April 2006, my sister Roxanne announced she was pregnant! I remember feeling shocked, happy, disappointed, and excited all at once. When we were kids, we vowed to go through the pregnancy journey together, when we were grown up and married. I was married in 2004, but I definitely didn’t feel like an adult even though I’d just turned 32 when my sister told me she was pregnant. I remember thinking she told me because she wanted me to take her to the clinic… so I offered to attend the abortion with her since she wasn’t yet married. Fortunately, she saw my good intentions and assured me she was ready for motherhood and that she and her partner had plans to marry after the baby was born. Her due date was November 2006. She was so beautiful, pregnancy definitely agreed with her; labour not so much as I recall she had ‘back labour’ and was in a lot of pain. I remember feeling guilty that I wasn’t pregnant at the same time so we could experience growing a human being together. I also reme

Hello to all my readers and my most sincere apologies for the lengthy delay in my follow up post. Life in the Delacroix household has been very hectic of late. This post begins in 2018 and will be a long read. The reason I purchased this home in particular is that it had 9/10 “must haves” I was looking for: 4 bedrooms, hardwood floors, tile, 2250 sq. ft., attached garage, in ground heated pool, but most importantly, a South facing backyard with little to no shade. WINNER for this sun worshiper! As a pool owner, you are responsible for the proper maintenance of a fence so you don’t get sued. In August 2018, I was diagnosed with colon cancer and told I would need to undergo immediate surgery – it happened so quickly it made my head spin. At the time, the ORs were all closed as a cost saving measure but from my colonoscopy to my surgery, 10 days elapsed. I returned home to recover on September 6. The following fall we had a series of severe thunderstorms and though I knew our wood