December 1997 I focused on work and on breaking up with Neall. It was uncomfortable living in the same house, but after a lot of begging, I caved and I said OK we could give it one last attempt. A few weeks later, we took the bus up to The North (12 or 16 hour bus ride if I remember correctly). I had a lot of time on the bus to prepare Neall for the few days would be staying at home: Don’t smoke in the house; in fact it would be better if you didn’t do it where they can see you Don’t drink during the day, even if they insist Keep it to 3 beer in the evening, after dinner Do not talk about politics Don’t talk about religion Don’t tell them my mom has been helping us out financially Don’t tell them I was on welfare Don’t tell them I was pregnant Don’t tell them anything unless they specifically ask Whatever gift they give you, even if you hate it, pretend it’s the best thing you have EVER received and make it over the top Don’t disagree with either of them If they argue, yes, it’s all ...

After the bathtub incident with the bowl of pills, I somehow found myself with an appointment to see a Psychiatrist. I actually don’t remember the events leading to this; if I told my GP or if Neall told someone at the University Health Network; but here I was nevertheless. I remember sitting in front of an older man with grey hair, a goatee, wire rim glasses, behind this massive desk surrounded by several bookshelves bursting with various publications. The room was very brown, dark mahogany everything and leather sofas and chairs, a gorgeous Persian rug on the floor. The room seemed to absorb sound. I remember him asking me why I tried to kill myself and I simply said, “ Because I need a change of scenery .” He asked me various questions, until I just said, “ look I think my problem is that I am Manic Depressive. I’m happy one minute then I’m absolutely in the lowest place, I blow up my credit card shopping for things to feel the adrenaline high, so I really think I need Lithium. ” ...

In my first year of University, I had befriended an older man in my Political Science class. In my second year, I had a student loan, but not all the classes I wanted to take were offered during the times I was available. I had decided that I was very much interested in International and Treaty Law and would perhaps like a career with the United Nations. I focused on taking classes that would advance this goal which happened to see me taking classes at Carleton University via shuttle bus from Ottawa U. Turns out that my friend, James was in the Navy and taking the same classes I was at Carleton U. We started meeting up for coffee and talking about world politics. We hung out often over my student career. James and I are still friends on Facebook; in fact, he’s the only person I remember from University. Our apartment directly in front of the University didn’t last very long and Neall and I moved out in June or July just three or so months after we moved in. The landlady began thinkin...

My first 2 years of University were plagued with bladder infection after bladder infection and the odd kidney infection. I had a great new female doctor who prescribed an inexpensive antibiotic. I’m going to take a guess and say I needed to drink more water and less beer. Neall and I partied HARD every single night we could easily drink a case of 24 beer, or a couple bottles of wine, or a bottle of Wiser’s . My parents were not in contact with me but I did try to keep the lines of communication open because I just assumed they were irritated with life and that it wasn’t really about me. In early March 1994 the Superintendent of the building gave me a document about my apartment. I wasn’t quite sure what it meant, I thought I had to move. The terminology used in the document wasn’t something I was familiar with and at this point, my parents weren’t exactly speaking to me and I still wasn’t sure why. In any case, I was confused about the terms of the Lease Renewal so instead of accep...