I haven’t written a blog post in a very long time and here I am to catch you up!  I’ve been very busy with a strong focus on therapy and healing my inner children. Having a childhood filled with so much trauma, I have several inner children that need attention, love and understanding. I struggled with this idea and concept for at least 4 years thinking it was utter bullshit. I’m finally in a place where I understand that the parts of me that were sacrificed to please others, the parts of me that weren’t permitted to exist, the parts of me that were told she wasn’t important - they all need to understand that it really had nothing to do with her and everything to do with the adults in her life. Today’s post isn’t really about my childhood. Today’s post is all about grown-up me. It’s been a tough year. I celebrated one year of no contact with Jack and I honestly feel free. I feel happier and I feel like I’m true to myself. I don’t have to pretend to be someone he wants me ...

  Warr;or, my ass I used to think I was a warr;or, that I was strong, courageous, brave and capable. Used to. Lately, I feel as though I’ve been rapidly spiraling through Dante’s circles of hell and I haven’t landed yet. I survived the Christmas season by renaming the holiday entirely to save my mental health, we now celebrate Winter Break for a full week instead of some imaginary guy’s birthday - don’t even get me started on the fact that the guy who apparently floats above the clouds wasn’t even born in December, but September. I finally had the best Winter Solstice ever, in my entire life. I baked like a crazy person and instead of hosting one large family dinner, I hosted two smaller family dinners plus one with my little family on the 24 th after a full day of board games and stuffing our faces with not one but two batches of homemade cinnamon rolls.   Best week ever. I went completely non-traditional and made full vegan meals too because, well, it’s my house. The...

In April 2006, my sister Roxanne announced she was pregnant! I remember feeling shocked, happy, disappointed, and excited all at once. When we were kids, we vowed to go through the pregnancy journey together, when we were grown up and married. I was married in 2004, but I definitely didn’t feel like an adult even though I’d just turned 32 when my sister told me she was pregnant. I remember thinking she told me because she wanted me to take her to the clinic… so I offered to attend the abortion with her since she wasn’t yet married. Fortunately, she saw my good intentions and assured me she was ready for motherhood and that she and her partner had plans to marry after the baby was born. Her due date was November 2006. She was so beautiful, pregnancy definitely agreed with her; labour not so much as I recall she had ‘back labour’ and was in a lot of pain. I remember feeling guilty that I wasn’t pregnant at the same time so we could experience growing a human being together. I also reme...

Hello to all my readers and my most sincere apologies for the lengthy delay in my follow up post. Life in the Delacroix household has been very hectic of late. This post begins in 2018 and will be a long read. The reason I purchased this home in particular is that it had 9/10 “must haves” I was looking for: 4 bedrooms, hardwood floors, tile, 2250 sq. ft., attached garage, in ground heated pool, but most importantly, a South facing backyard with little to no shade. WINNER for this sun worshiper! As a pool owner, you are responsible for the proper maintenance of a fence so you don’t get sued. In August 2018, I was diagnosed with colon cancer and told I would need to undergo immediate surgery – it happened so quickly it made my head spin. At the time, the ORs were all closed as a cost saving measure but from my colonoscopy to my surgery, 10 days elapsed. I returned home to recover on September 6. The following fall we had a series of severe thunderstorms and though I knew our wood...